It’s Only Been Two Months…

Cut a brother some slack. I’ve been busy! I’ll save all that for another posting though. For now, there’s been some pretty good headlines you’ve probably missed. I’ll catch you up while I finish watching the rest of Talk Sex with Sue on the Oxygen Network.

$10,000 bill sent to N.Y. for safe keeping

GREEN BAY, Wis. (AP) — A rare $10,000 bill is getting a new home. The bill (one of 15 large-denomination bills at a Chase Bank branch in Green Bay) was shipped to the bank’s corporate archives in New York for safe keeping….They should have shipped the Packers as part of the deal. N.Y. could use another sorry sports team. Go Knicks.

And since I haven’t posted in a while, you may have missed these other headlines too:

Ex-tenant takes revenge against landlords
ANTIOCH, Calif. (AP) — A man who was evicted from the house he rented for years allegedly took revenge on his landlords by dumping the home’s hoarded contents – five-gallon buckets of cookies, canned food, old batteries and puzzle pieces – on the front lawn and in the backyard…. Not to worry, FEMA has been all over this one.

Seniors suspended for skunk-oil prank
SPRINGVILLE, Utah (AP) — Four seniors have been suspended for spraying skunk oil in Springville High School. The Nebo School District board voted Wednesday to suspend the seniors for 90 days, which could affect their graduation….And to think a kid at my high school only had to spend 10 days away for smearing his excrement all over the boys bathroom mirrors.

Man who weighed 1,000 pounds down to 400
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) — Patrick Deuel, who once weighed more than 1,000 pounds, has lost another 81 pounds in a surgery that removed a mass of fat and skin hanging from his midsection…. wow, an 81 pound penis.